Domestic violence and abuse can happen to anyone; it does not discriminate. Your family member, your coworker, your neighbor…even you. This year for Domestic Violence abuse awareness month, our team is getting involved. All month long, our guys will be wearing their Real Men Wear Purple shirts to help raise awareness. On the job, in the grocery story, at home, and walking down the street, we are taking a stand and starting a conversation. We are taking a stand against Domestic Violence and we are telling the world about it. Help us spread the word by sharing our posts with #RealMenWearPurple, buy your own shirt at JEM Screen Printing in Milford, PA, tell your story, donate, or volunteer. Every little bit helps.
Real Men Wear Purple page
Our team is proud to be a part of our awareness campaign and is telling their stories. Doug, our long-time team member, and his wife are very active in Domestic Violence Awareness groups and are sharing their story.
Jennifer’s Story As a Survivor of Domestic Abuse:
“As a young woman, I was of course aware of domestic violence. I had never experienced it, but heard stories and all the usual tag lines. I was in a relationship with a man, who was funny, tall dark and handsome. His family was so close and I loved them too. He was a hard worker, and always provided. But we argued so much. Over many things, I don’t even remember why we did so much because it was never anything serious, a conversation would turn to yelling, name calling… Eventually punching walls and doors, slamming things around. But he never hit me. That was what I told myself. I just made excuses oh he is diabetic so he gets cranky, he’s tired… His blood sugar is low…
As years go on though it is easy to switch to saying I should have known better than to bother him right now. You start to think it is you. You also think, but he never hit me. We built this life together, bought a house, got married, he is all I have… I can deal with it, everyone argues after all. In the back of my mind was always that thought of hearing people say ‘it doesn’t get better it only gets worse’. That there is a pattern, that escalation so slow you may not notice, the verbal abuse then the anger building with time to objects then maybe he squeezes your arms or shoves you a little. But he never hit me. You think if you don’t trigger him things are great. You just have to be a good woman.
There is one argument I have vividly engrained in my psyche. Like most, I do not remember what started it. But I know that he was scaring me so I tried to go out the front door. As I was stepping out, he rushed over and said no. No you cannot leave. He grabbed the door handle and swung the door closed on my head with his 6 foot 250 lb body. I started screaming. We ended up on the ground. He got on top of me and held me down. Just held me there while I screamed for my roommate to help me. Pushed my neck down from behind with his forearm, my face down. I was fighting so hard to get free. I knew my roommate was home and had friends over. He was my saving grace. But he did not come. Him and his friends were scared to come help me. Afraid of what they might see if they came out, afraid his rage may be turned to them I am sure. I do not know how long he held me there while I yelled, it felt very long and I was having a hard time breathing. Finally someone came out. He got off me and went to the bedroom, my roommates friend helped me clean the blood and assess my head wound and calm down.
We did not talk much the next week or so. Then I took him out for dinner and we had a great night and talked about a lot. It was my closure. Then the next day, I packed my things in many trips in my little car and moved them to a storage unit. I left him a note. I was lucky that something in me gave me the blind strength to leave. I did it all in a haze it didn’t feel like it was real. I had no where to go, no friends, and had to tell my family my marriage was over. But I knew deep down that it would have just gotten worse. In the end, he never hit me. I took back my power and self worth before he could.”
-Jennifer
If anyone needs help or wants to set up an appointment with VIP, they can call the 24-hour toll-free crisis hotline: 1-800-698-4VIP (4847) vipempowers.org
or you can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline for help at: 1-800-799-7233, 1-800-787-3224 (TTY)